(satire) *God To Delete Several Million Humans Due To Inactivity.*

(satire) *CDC Recommends 6 Hours Of Clicking Per Day For Healthy Fingers.*

*Colombian Amazon deforestation surges as armed groups tighten grip.* The groups started as rebels fighting a repressive government, but now they use the forest as a hostage. Meanwhile, the erstwhile provincial rebel group made peace and disarmed, so it is no longer there to keep the others down.

*Ireland and Spain reiterate plan to form alliance to recognize state of Palestine.*

Violent Israeli colonists in Palestinian territory attacked a Palestinian village, killing one Palestinian and injuring many. They were searching for a missing teenager who seems not to have been there at all. However, people who hate some others are often in a rush to declare them guilty of crimes, which may not even have happened at all.

Let's not lose sight of where we want to end up.