(satire) *Officials Champion Ohio Train Derailment As Deregulation Success Story.*

If an Onion page appears blank, try disabling Javascript entirely or telling LibreJS to blacklist all scripts in the page, then right-click and select item "Reveal hidden HTML". Or use a browser such as lynx that doesn't implement Javascript and CSS.

Ancient Khmer jewelry from the Angkor period still exists, and was stolen in Cambodia. The US has sent it back to Cambodia.

I hope that those returning these objects will photograph them first and post the photos for all to see. It would be an outrageous wrong to treat works a thousand years old as copyrighted.

*Scientists warn of many dangerous climate feedback loops. Current plans to mitigate climate change may be inadequate.*

In total, the researchers identified 27 amplifying (positive) feedbacks, 7 dampening (negative) feedbacks, and 7 uncertain feedbacks.

Only fools would depend on precisely how far we are from the climate cliff. The wise thing to do is to work harder to stop us before we find out the hard way.

*Florida High School Athletic Association removes all questions about menstruation from required medical evaluation form.*

People suspect that the requirement for women athletes to answer those questions was part of a Republican scheme to cause trouble for women: either for those who are trans, or for those who get pregnant, or for those who have abortions.

Pakistan is on the edge of collapse -- economic collapse, political collapse, and climate collapse. Since it has nuclear weapons, it is hard to tell what would happen in the event of such a collapse.