Look, evolution, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job or anything, but the proportions on these gerenuks just seem a little… off. Are you sure you didn’t mess up a unit conversion somewhere?

"Hey! I bet you can’t tell what this is."

"It’s a slug."

"You can’t tell because I’ve cleverly disguised it."

"It’s a slug."

"Now, I know what you’re thinking: ‘Could it be some kind of cow?’"

"It’s definitely a slug."

"But no! It doesn’t even have a backbone!"

"Evolution, it’s a white banana slug.”

"Okay, okay, I’ll tell you. It’s a slug. Good trick, though, huh?"

"Please stop pretending that random mutations were brilliant ideas you had."

Today, coincidentally, marks both the 100th post on “WTF, Evolution?” and the one-year anniversary of the very first one. I honestly cannot thank everyone enough for reading, sharing, sending in suggestions, and generally being so enthusiastic about my weird little project this past year. It warms my four-chambered blood-pumping chest organ to know you’re out there.

Some exciting things are in the works, upon which I will elaborate soon. In the meantime, keep being awesome, Internet.

Evolution heard you’re into grumpy cats, so it put one on this mandrill’s butt. That’s what you wanted, right?

Sometimes you fight with teeth and claws; sometimes you fight with venom. And sometimes you fight by taking a deep breath, looking your opponent straight in the beady eye, and proceeding to dazzle the hell out of him.