To trigger the nurturing instincts that compel their parents to feed them, newborn animals often appear sweet, helpless and overwhelmingly adorable. Evolution apparently wishes baby birds would starve.

Evolution is not sure why you’re so obsessed with finding “aliens.” I mean, it already made the stalk-eyed fly.

Evolution likes worms that look like tiny disembodied floating butts, and it cannot lie. 

(via Deep Sea Fauna… with Googly Eyes)

Everyone occasionally worries that they’re getting a little predictable. Most of us deal with it by changing our hairstyle, having an ill-advised fling, or buying a new instrument we’ll never actually learn to play. Evolution makes weird lumpy fish that breathe air, puke mud and flop around like deranged garden hoses. Same difference. 

Seems like everyone could use a hug this week. Good thing evolution gave the blue-ringed octopus all those arms. 

(Disclaimer: The blue-ringed octopus is venomous. Please do not actually attempt to hug one.)