Look, evolution, we’ve talked about this. You can’t just slap some makeup on an ostrich and then pretend like it’s a totally different bird. Call it a “seriema" if you want to, but come on; we know.

"How should I decorate this nyala? I’m thinking maybe spiral horns."

"Sure, evolution, spiral horns are pretty cool."

"And orange legs."

"Bold choice, but all right…"

"And maybe some facial markings. And fringy hair!"

"Hey, don’t get too carried away, okay? It’s just an antelope."

"Ooh, how about some stripes? Stripes are majestic."

"Hmm. It kind of just looks like a bird pooped all over it."

"No. It looks majestic.”

"Whatever you say."

Evolution tried to start a sports league once, but it turned out competitive leaf-eating just wasn’t all that interesting to watch. Nice jerseys on the saddleback caterpillars, though.

Source: Flickr / Mary Keim

Okay, I take back what I said about the hooded seal, evolution. Camel breeding behavior is quite possibly the most repulsive thing you’ve ever done. 

Oh, dear—it looks like evolution got into the nail polish again. Sorry about that, variegated grasshopper.