"Happy new year, evolution! Do you have any resolutions?"

"Yeah. I decided that everything I make is going to look completely normal from now on."

"Wow, really? You mean like this northern fulmar bird here? He seems lovely.”

"Yeah. Hey, just don’t get within like ten feet of that guy, okay, or he might projectile vomit neon orange half-digested fish oil in your face.”

"Never change."